I'm sure there are lots of recent examples of people going overboard with the shaming (and also examples of similarly extreme reactions against the movement). Whenever there's a big social shift, there will undoubtably be people pushing farther than most people would like. That doesn't invalidate the movement. Really, it's the only way progress happens.
I know it sucks having to watch your words and change slightly the way you've been operating for the past decades. Change is hella hard for anyone, myself included, and I've had to alter my behavior in recent years too.
I think this is a good point. It might be further extended by saying that black people have had to watch what they do and say all their lives for fear of racial injustice. In fact, I think people who feel victimized, silenced, or cast out by this movement are actually in the perfect place to sympathize with it because they are now understanding a small part of what it feels to live the life of a minority.
(this is not directed specifically at you Ian, I just wanted to use your quote)
Folks may be annoyed by having themselves or others be censored or criticized (rightly or wrongly) since this movement began, but black people have been dealing with that for the whole history of our nation. That anger, irritation, and sense of victim-hood that is coming from feeling like you (a hypothetical you) being unjustly singled out or ignored is a taste of what is experienced by black people every day.
The biggest difference between us white people and them is that while a white person may be annoyed about being called out on social media or confronted about a use of certain language or bothered by what is perceived as a targeting or their social/political/or racial group, our existence and livelihoods are not truly under existential threat. Black people are worried about their families being killed, access to adequate social services (such as healthcare, education, etc) that have been affected by racial inequalities, and equitable treatment within and under the law.
This doesn't make anyone's feelings less valid, but it also doesn't mean you can use your hurt feelings as an excuse to ignore the feelings of the other side. And, if it feels like the other side (aka the movement for equality) is ignoring yours, realize that perhaps it's not personal and that what you're experiencing is not a backlash against any one individual but a combined outcry against an overbearing, unyielding system. And, as with any movement this big hitting our collective national waters, there are bound to be some people unintentional caught up in the waves.
Have people supporting the movement taken it too far sometimes? Yes, but they are a small minority, and given the decades of pent-up emotion and anger, and the very real pain, death, and disenfranchisement involved, it is kind of admirable how relatively limited that kind of purposefully destructive lashing out has been. I'm not saying it hasn't happened, only that you can't blame the whole for a minorities actions just like we don't blame all gun owners when some idiot with a gun shoots someone.