# Kitchen Funnies



## Nomsdotcom

I'm sure being in this industry we all have some interesting stories to tell, or maybe just a few jokes. Thought I would make this thread, since the BOH area gets just about the least love on this forum. 

Figure I should start out with a brief experience.
We had a guy who used to work grill, for the sake of this story I'll just call him by his nickname Rojo. He was gifted that name since he is a taller ginger man :]
We needed to make meringue for a S'more dessert. Now Rojo didn't have many years in the industry at this point, and was obviously not a pastry chef. One of the ingredients in the meringue was a couple drops of liquid smoke. For some reason at the time we had a giant jug of liquid smoke, Rojo grabs the jug and asks the Sous "uhh hey, so I got the liquid smoke... but should I like turn it upside down when I open it? I don't want all the smoke to escape". Now if I was the Sous I might have just told him to go for it, other than the fact that the entire kitchen would have smelled of liquid smoke to this day :rofl2:

What funny industry stories do you guys have?


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## panda

http://www.kitchenknifeforums.com/showthread.php/23650-rag-on-foh-thread

had a ticket come in that read 'sunny side eggs, no yolk'


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## Nomsdotcom

Did you just cook them like normal and use a ring mold? Haha


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## panda

i just took out yolk, put the white in a cup then poured it into a hot buttered small round staub to cook it in. i just assumed they wanted it fried with crispy edges and all but not flipped so the top side is smooth.


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## Nomsdotcom

I sometimes wonder if people like that even know what they want. Like having a perfectly medium steak getting sent back for being pink...


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## GorillaGrunt

Med rare, no pink seen that one a few times.


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## panda

it saddens me that BoH sub forum is so dead.


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## daveb

Regular asks for Bearnaise without tarragon, every time she's in. Would you like hollandaise? No - I like the Bearnaise but without tarragon. She gets hollandaise. She happy.


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## ThEoRy

Yup. This happened.


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## panda

I've had a few people ask for braised short rib entree med rare..

Butterfly burger to get crispy diner style I get but m.r. lol ***


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## daveb

Short rib burger - that wouldn't suck.


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## panda

Shortie + brisket, best burger combo, I like to add hand chopped strip as well


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## ThEoRy

It actually is a 40/40/20 blend of short rib, brisket and fat. It's a 10 oz burger and I'm not going to butterfly it. That's ******* stupid.


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## Brucewml

My most memorable thing is I used to cook seafood risotto for two different table. That two serve risotto from same pan. One table came to kitchen thank for the best risotto ever had. The other table was complaint risotto blend no taste. The most confusing experience ever. After that I tell myself customers never be right.


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## Nomsdotcom

ThEoRy said:


> It actually is a 40/40/20 blend of short rib, brisket and fat. It's a 10 oz burger and I'm not going to butterfly it. That's ******* stupid.


That does sound f-ing delicious though


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## swarth

Thick burgers suck.



ThEoRy said:


> It actually is a 40/40/20 blend of short rib, brisket and fat. It's a 10 oz burger and I'm not going to butterfly it. That's ******* stupid.


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## panda

I too prefer crispy thin wide burgers vs thick juicy ones.


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## ThEoRy

Who the hell said it was thick?


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## bkultra

She lives in Canada. I met her at Niagra Falls; you wouldn't know her


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## panda

There's a lot of hookers in Niagra falls right near the chinese casino I lost a ton of money at


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## swarth

Your customer 



ThEoRy said:


> Who the hell said it was thick?


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## bkultra

panda said:


> There's a lot of hookers in Niagra falls right near the chinese casino I lost a ton of money at





To the hookers or casino?


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## Xenif

panda said:


> There's a lot of hookers in Niagra falls right near the chinese casino I lost a ton of money at



As a Chinese-Canadian, we welcome you with open doors


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## ThEoRy

swarth said:


> Your customer





Nah, the server was being an idiot. I called her into the kitchen she apologized profusely. When I told her that I was going to share her intelligence with the world through social media she was like, "omg NOOOO!" &#129315;&#129315;&#129315;

Now I have to take a picture of the burger for you guys.


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## panda

What about those people who eat 3 quarters of a steak and say it was wrong temp..


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## WildBoar

ThEoRy said:


> Now I have to take a picture of the burger for you guys.


8 hours later and still no pic... :spankarse:


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## ThEoRy

WildBoar said:


> 8 hours later and still no pic... :spankarse:




It's called 12 hour shifts.


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## parbaked

Two please...way too thin!!
&#128513;


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## daveb

12 hrs = half days.

:cool2:


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## panda

That's a nice looking bun


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## ThEoRy

panda said:


> That's a nice looking bun



It really is. I get all of my bread baked fresh caily by the Cranford Breadsmith. She's awesome.




parbaked said:


> Two please...way too thin!!
> &#128513;



You should order my 1lb burger then. Although even ther it's not what I would call a "thick" burger.










daveb said:


> 12 hrs = half days.
> 
> :cool2:



Don't be a b**** bro.


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## swarth

Thinner. Who ordered the meatloaf?


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## Nomsdotcom

swarth said:


> Thinner. Who ordered the meatloaf?


Did you say meatloaf burger? Or are you refering to the recording artist/actor?


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## panda

The slider on top, dead &#129315;


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## GorillaGrunt

panda said:


> The slider on top, dead &#129315;



That is f_____g awesome


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## ThEoRy

panda said:


> The slider on top, dead &#129315;





GorillaGrunt said:


> That is f_____g awesome



It is pretty f****** funny. I realized the only way to garnish a 1 lb bacon cheeseburger was with a smaller bacon cheeseburger and a steak knife through it.


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## Bacon king tone

Servers at my restaurant always try to order duck Confit medium.....


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## ThEoRy

Bacon king tone said:


> Servers at my restaurant always try to order duck Confit medium.....



Actually my sous vide duck confit is pink. 155 degrees for 36 hours. But I hear what you are saying.


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