# You know your a knifenut when...



## Geo87 (Jan 29, 2015)

Not sure if this has been done before here. Either way here goes. 

You know your a knifenut when your wife buys a turn of the century piano. You realise the piano is made of walnut and contemplate how many handles you could make before she noticed pieces missing.....


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## icanhaschzbrgr (Jan 29, 2015)

You are a knife nut if you are reading this. I don't see how normal people could be interested in such threads 
So how many handles do you think can be made out of piano?


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## chefcomesback (Jan 29, 2015)

Or spacers out of their keys ??


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## KimBronnum (Jan 29, 2015)

Or when you calculate how many Shigs and stones you could have bought for the money spend on that piano... and that the piano maker might have some left over wood that could be used for scales...


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## Matus (Jan 29, 2015)

chefcomesback said:


> Or spacers out of their keys ??



Now that is a lovely idea. I have actually inherited a piano I used to play as a kid/teenager. Not sure the family would approve though ... 

But I am sure that one is a knife nut if he/she is willing to pay nearly 10 times as much for a custom knife handle as normal person would for the whole knife. I proudly classify


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## berko (Jan 29, 2015)

... you shave your balls with a machete.


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## pkjames (Jan 29, 2015)

every time a see someone throws out old fence or basically any old timber, i always wonder the same thing...


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## TheDispossessed (Jan 29, 2015)

when you open this website in the morning before you can quote, "do anything because you're not awake yet."


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## James (Jan 29, 2015)

you have a half shaven left forearm


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## Mucho Bocho (Jan 29, 2015)

When your eight and ten YO daughters, prefer the Carter to a Mac knife cause, "it just feels better Daddy."


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## Zwiefel (Jan 29, 2015)

...you spend an hour trying to figure out the perfect way to encapsulate how much of a knifeknut you are just so you can reply to this thread.


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## TheDispossessed (Jan 29, 2015)

best yet!


Zwiefel said:


> ...you spend an hour trying to figure out the perfect way to encapsulate how much of a knifeknut you are just so you can reply to this thread.


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## daveb (Jan 29, 2015)

When SHE, standing waist deep in handbags, asks how many knives do you need?


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## rami_m (Jan 29, 2015)




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## boomchakabowwow (Jan 29, 2015)

.............when you go to a dinner party, you bring wine and your sharpening supplies to touch up the host's hacked up equipment. (i've done this)


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## mkriggen (Jan 29, 2015)

...when you have a knife for potatoes, and a knife for carrots, and a knife for onions, and a knife for...


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## rami_m (Jan 29, 2015)

boomchakabowwow said:


> .............when you go to a dinner party, you bring wine and your sharpening supplies to touch up the host's hacked up equipment. (i've done this)



You brought wine!! I just show up with stones.

Mine is packing my traveling knife for a weekend away with friends. They looked at me weird.


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## Mute-on (Jan 29, 2015)

My monetary units are measured in Shigs (or equivalent) rather than dollars.

Car registration is 1.5 Shigs. Do I really need a car? :wink:


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## Geo87 (Jan 29, 2015)

... When You hear your two apprentices discussing the positives and negatives of different grinds, profiles and steel types and you realise you've taught them more about knives than actually cooking...


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## mr drinky (Jan 29, 2015)

Oh I have had a few in the past with such threads and new ones.

Here are some of my favorites:

* When you have ordered a custom knife while intoxicated -- and it takes a call from a maker a few days later to jog the memory. Though this might just be a drinking problem instead.
* When you buy your wife jewelry before a new knife purchase just to soften the blow a bit.
* Worse yet, you go shoe shopping with your wife to make up for a knife purchase she just realized and is unhappy with. 
* When people ask about the cost of a knife, you pretend the down payment is the 'real cost' just so it doesn't sound insane. 
* When you buy knives simply because you want to give them away. Though this is the best part of being a knife knut really.
* When you truly come to terms that that Marko knife you think is just around the corner may not actually get to you for many years.
* You buy pretty blocks of wood, just because it has something to do with knives.
* You think about which knife you would take in a house fire or tornado scenario. 

Ok, I have to cook some dinner now, but those are a few of mine. 

k.


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## Castalia (Jan 29, 2015)

+1 on buying knives because you want to give them away in order to show your friends and family the wonderful world of sharp high quality knives.:doublethumbsup:


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## Chifunda (Jan 29, 2015)

Your kitchen counter is littered with thin strips of paper.


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## Mute-on (Jan 29, 2015)

Chifunda said:


> Your kitchen counter is littered with thin strips of paper.



LOL . You just reminded me I need to clean up the floor after a late night sharpening session ...


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## Matus (Jan 30, 2015)

mr drinky said:


> * When you buy knives simply because you want to give them away. Though this is the best part of being a knife knut really.



and making new friends just because you need to find someone who you could eventually gift with a knife


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## TheDispossessed (Jan 30, 2015)

when you start to actually get embarrassed going on trails because you have way better knives than everyone including the chef(s).
also,
when you see a clip from a cooking competition show on tv and say to your wife, 'they always all have such [email protected] knives!'


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## Benuser (Jan 30, 2015)

To the OP: even when you are a knifenut, don't use the 88 pianohammers for deburring. Too soft.


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## krx927 (Jan 30, 2015)

I can totally relate:

* "you have a half shaven left forearm" - I could not test the knife I was sharpening today on my left forearm - shaven clean already
* ".............when you go to a dinner party, you bring wine and your sharpening supplies to touch up the host's hacked up equipment. (i've done this) / You brought wine!! I just show up with stones". - I actually went back home to fetch them when I saw the situation...
* "Car registration is 1.5 Shigs." - you are still lucky!
* "When people ask about the cost of a knife, you pretend the down payment is the 'real cost' just so it doesn't sound insane." - how true!
* "When you buy knives simply because you want to give them away. Though this is the best part of being a knife knut really." - I did nto imagine this will happen with me so soon. I really need bigger knife block...

Not done that but its hilarious:
* "... When You hear your two apprentices discussing the positives and negatives of different grinds, profiles and steel types and you realise you've taught them more about knives than actually cooking..." -  LOL


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## TheDispossessed (Jan 30, 2015)

oh! 
...when you are always up on the jpy-usd exchange rate


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## ecchef (Jan 30, 2015)

TheDispossessed said:


> oh!
> ...when you are always up on the jpy-usd exchange rate



I get automatic e-mail notification. :wink:

I've probably experienced all of these at some point. Add 'explain dried swarf in the kitchen sink the next morning'.


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## chinacats (Jan 30, 2015)

TheDispossessed said:


> oh!
> ...when you are always up on the jpy-usd exchange rate



Let's not forget dkk>usd.


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## cheflarge (Jan 31, 2015)

When your wife knows the difference between single bevel & double bevel and can explain the uraoshi process. :biggrin:


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## CoqaVin (Jan 31, 2015)

when you care about your knives MUCH MUCH MUCH MORE than anyone else, and it is DUMB SHARP, and everyone says CAN I USE YOUR KNIFE FOR THIS?


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## panda (Jan 31, 2015)

.. You actually read this thread.


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## Chifunda (Jan 31, 2015)

panda said:


> .. You actually read this thread.



...and find yourself saying, "Yep, that's me."


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## Keith Sinclair (Jan 31, 2015)

When you actually think as many people as possible should learn freehand.


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## TheDispossessed (Feb 1, 2015)

Ok, so i'm probably going to send this thread over the deep end into real nerd/loserdom.
...when you seriously wish you had the money to have someone hand forge a bad a$$ replica of the master sword from the legend of zelda.
(I can admit these things now because I am married, and have no fear of repelling all members of the opposite sex forever with such comments.)


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## Matus (Feb 1, 2015)

... you take several hours just to write 1/2 of a knife review :angel2:


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## berko (Feb 1, 2015)

> ...when you seriously wish you had the money to have someone hand forge a bad a$$ replica of the master sword from the legend of zelda.



just take this one.


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## James (Feb 1, 2015)

TheDispossessed said:


> ...when you seriously wish you had the money to have someone hand forge a bad a$$ replica of the master sword from the legend of zelda.
> (I can admit these things now because I am married, and have no fear of repelling all members of the opposite sex forever with such comments.)


Relevant
[video=youtube;XFKx_lzF6e4]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XFKx_lzF6e4[/video]


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## Zsumaru (Feb 1, 2015)

When you regularly pause/rewind cooking shows on tv to identify the knife they are using?


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## mkriggen (Feb 1, 2015)

Zsumaru said:


> When you regularly pause/rewind cooking shows on tv to identify the knife they are using?



Carter?


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## rami_m (Feb 1, 2015)

mkriggen said:


> Carter?



Isn't that's the one with a lefty handle?


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## Zsumaru (Feb 2, 2015)

mkriggen said:


> Carter?



Yes, I believe so. Not the hardest one to spot, but it surprised me enough to take a picture of it. I think that says enough. I don't think anyone I know would understand why someone would do this...


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## Zsumaru (Feb 2, 2015)

rami_m said:


> Isn't that's the one with a lefty handle?



:scratchhead: I think that's a more advanced level of nutty...:newhere:


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## rami_m (Feb 2, 2015)

Zsumaru said:


> :scratchhead: I think that's a more advanced level of nutty...:newhere:



It was really easy. Jamie only has the one carter.


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## Geo87 (Feb 2, 2015)

...When you know what knives people other than yourself own...


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## CoqaVin (Feb 2, 2015)

haha or you can EASILY identify them, in person like "oh what is that a Masamoto?"


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## Zsumaru (Feb 2, 2015)

rami_m said:


> It was really easy. Jamie only has the one carter.



I did not know this. On the shows I've seen, he uses different knives all the time, usually something with a thick choil, apparently useful for bashing stuff...


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## toddnmd (Feb 2, 2015)

rami_m said:


> It was really easy. Jamie only has the one carter.



You know you're a knife knut when . . . you can not only identify a celebrity chef's knife, but use your knowledge of how many knives that celebrity chef has by various makers to make the call


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## toddnmd (Feb 2, 2015)

Oh, also, you're a knife knut if you go into your kitchen just to look at your knife collection. Sometimes you will just pick up some knives to look at and admire. Then you go back out of the kitchen. Extra points if you a) do this more than once per day, or b) do it first thing in the morning or just before you go to bed at night.


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## rami_m (Feb 2, 2015)

toddnmd said:


> Oh, also, you're a knife knut if you go into your kitchen just to look at your knife collection. Sometimes you will just pick up some knives to look at and admire. Then you go back out of the kitchen. Extra points if you a) do this more than once per day, or b) do it first thing in the morning or just before you go to bed at night.



You don't have them on a night stand? At least one?


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## Roger (Feb 2, 2015)

I know I'm a knife nut when I observe myself saving veal blood from the bottom of a vacuum seal pack to develop patina on my nakiri...


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## Geo87 (Feb 2, 2015)

... When you accidentally cut your finger and consider trying a human blood patina...


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## daveb (Feb 2, 2015)

What do you mean "consider"?


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## Chifunda (Feb 2, 2015)

Geo87 said:


> ... When you accidentally cut your finger and consider trying a human blood patina...



Please don't ask me if I've ever actually done that.:O


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## Chuckles (Feb 3, 2015)

When you are admiring your favorite knife and say to your sous:

"You know I would sleep with this knife if I thought my wife would let me."

And then your sous chef replies:

"Yeah.... You've mentioned that before..."

Commence awkward pause, followed by the entrance of an unmistakable FedEx package.


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## TheDispossessed (Feb 3, 2015)

TheDispossessed said:


> Ok, so i'm probably going to send this thread over the deep end into real nerd/loserdom.
> ...when you seriously wish you had the money to have someone hand forge a bad a$$ replica of the master sword from the legend of zelda.
> (I can admit these things now because I am married, and have no fear of repelling all members of the opposite sex forever with such comments.)



This Happened, can't say i wouldn't want that Buster Sword for a watermelon now and again...
[video=youtube;Qm6m8TEyfcc]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qm6m8TEyfcc#t=652[/video]


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## chefcomesback (Feb 3, 2015)

When you look at the invoices and you say " damn I paid a shig worth on a fish delivery "
Even if you work in kitchens when someone says "jamon" you are thinking about the well polished "hamon" first rather than cured piggy


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## Matus (Feb 3, 2015)

... when you start a thread that which knife and *stone* you would take to a deserted island :laugh:


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## daveb (Feb 3, 2015)

Or when you have an answer!


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## USC 2012 (Feb 3, 2015)

When you consider using your first unemployment check to buy a custom


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## Zwiefel (Feb 3, 2015)

USC 2012 said:


> When you consider using your first unemployment check to buy a custom



HAHAHAHA....ok, this might be the winner.


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## Mute-on (Feb 3, 2015)

chefcomesback said:


> When you look at the invoices and you say " damn I paid a shig worth on a fish delivery "
> Even if you work in kitchens when someone says "jamon" you are thinking about the well polished "hamon" first rather than cured piggy



Ummmm, errrr, yep :O


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## Geo87 (Feb 4, 2015)

Chuckles said:


> When you are admiring your favorite knife and say to your sous:
> 
> "You know I would sleep with this knife if I thought my wife would let me."
> 
> ...



Please tell me this is a true story! Impeccable timing. 
Personal favourite


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## drawman623 (Feb 4, 2015)

When you drive to the end of your street and that red hexagonal sign says "STROP"


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## drawman623 (Feb 4, 2015)

When you and your wife are leaving for a vacation...she asks if the iron is off and you volunteer to go back inside...then you return to the car with camelia oil on your fingers and say "what iron?"


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## drawman623 (Feb 4, 2015)

You know you're a knife knut when you find a strange hair on your wife's pillow and your first reaction is to hang it over your Fujiwara blade.


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## drawman623 (Feb 4, 2015)

...when you keep cash in a jar that says break in case of KD


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## no_one_just_Roy (Feb 6, 2015)

When you "use up" a sharpening stone which at first seemed to last forever. Or two. Or many more.
Bonus points if you find it nothing unusual.
Further bonus if you are still using broken paper-thin whetstones.


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## Geo87 (Feb 6, 2015)

You mean like this one?


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## jeff1 (Feb 7, 2015)

James said:


> you have a half shaven left forearm



Haha. I went to try on watches for my 30th a few weeks ago and about half way through the day i wondered if people thought i had shaved my arm just to try them on.


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## malexthekid (Feb 7, 2015)

I'm trying to convince my wife i need another knife for my 30th


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## TheDispossessed (Feb 9, 2015)

...you revive this thread
...you have already posted multiple times
...you use your wii u to browse JNS


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## leiatlarge (Feb 9, 2015)

...when one of your whetstones costs more than most of your friends' best knife
...every receipt or paper magnetized to the fridge has some sliver sliced off


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## Geo87 (Feb 9, 2015)

When you have a separate pay pal account to your wife. You get your knives sent to your work as your sick of explaining why there is a constant supply of random packages arriving every month...

When your wife realises this and is so accustomed to this behaviour she doesn't bother asking questions anymore


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## malexthekid (Feb 9, 2015)

Geo87 said:


> When you have a separate pay pal account to your wife. You get your knives sent to your work as your sick of explaining why there is a constant supply of random packages arriving every month...
> 
> When your wife realises this and is so accustomed to this behaviour she doesn't bother asking questions anymore



When you consider taking that to the next level and having some of your pay directed to a hidden account to avoid the questions


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