# Shiny rock that isn't a diamond



## tkern (Nov 17, 2013)

Sometime in the near future I'll be proposing to my girlfriend. I don't want to go the diamond route and my knowledge of gemstones is non-existent. Thoughts?


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## quantumcloud509 (Nov 17, 2013)

Moissanite


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## sachem allison (Nov 17, 2013)

prior to DeBeers and Tiffanys pushing diamonds as engagement rings, many other stones were used. sapphires, rubies, emeralds. I have seen many old pink stones such as Morganite and Kunzite because they were rare at the time. A high quality tourmaline such as the Pala Pink tourmaline or a color change Alexandrite are always beautiful. I personally would choose something rare and with personal meaning. Maybe you can go to Arkansas and dig your own Diamond at the crater of diamonds state park or head out to Henderson, Nevada and dig up a rare black tourmaline. Me I like Tektites such as Moldavite. Find out what her favorite color is and get a gemstone in that color.


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## EdipisReks (Nov 17, 2013)

once nice thing about diamonds is that they wear very well, due to hardness. i'd be scared of other stones breaking, if worn everyday. the mohs scale is not linear, diamond is much, much, much harder than any other natural stone.


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## boomchakabowwow (Nov 17, 2013)

the engagement ring isnt at all about what YOU like. do you think she will be cool with another precious stone, other than a diamond?


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## RRLOVER (Nov 17, 2013)

I don't know gemstones.....but I do know women.....get a Diamond!!


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## Eric (Nov 17, 2013)

It is true that the ring is for her, not you, but I too am a fan of colored gemstones. I think sapphire is a great alternative, since they are hard, come in every color and are plentiful. Having said that, you should know that almost every sapphire commercially available has been heat treated, an accepted practice. Some, however have been treated in ways to alter their color- diffusion, or to change clarity-flux heating. Thus it is important to have a reputable source. Look at Lisa elser,s site online. She custom facets stones, many that she purchased at the mines. Good luck. (I also like orange and green garnets, which are rare beautiful and hard)


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## tkern (Nov 17, 2013)

boomchakabowwow said:


> the engagement ring isnt at all about what YOU like. do you think she will be cool with another precious stone, other than a diamond?



Yup, she just wants a shiny stone and a more simple ring


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## ChuckTheButcher (Nov 17, 2013)

Remember diamonds do come in other colors. I personally think emeralds and sapphires are really gorgeous.


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## chinacats (Nov 17, 2013)

Nice, would be a nice trend to see. And congrats!


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## mr drinky (Nov 17, 2013)

My wife and I did a blue-green sapphire and love it. We shopped through The Natural Sapphire Company for unique sapphires and chose some to check out. They shipped them to us to check out before buying (3 at a time) and we chose which one we liked after a couple of shipments. After picking the stone, we had a custom ring setting made at Ethan Lord Jewelers in Chicago. We just picked some photos of rings we liked, sent the stone, and they did CAD drawings. Most -- if not all of it -- can be done remotely.

I will say that EdipisReks is correct in that diamonds will wear better over time, but we chose to accept a softer stone because we wanted something different. It will take more maintenance and may need to be replaced, but we accept that. 

http://www.thenaturalsapphirecompan...ique-sapphires/?color=greenish blue&pagenum=2

k.


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## hobbitling (Nov 17, 2013)

Colored diamonds are incredibly expensive. Often many times more than clear diamonds. 

If wear is a concern, Jade is incredibly tough. Diamond may be the hardest gem, but jade is the toughest. In some parts of the world they used to make anvils and stone tools out of jade (or more correctly, Nephrite, the dark, non-gem quality form of jade).

Eric already mentioned sapphires and garnet, both of which come in many colors, are hard, and can be inexpensive (although some rare types of sapphires can be right up there with diamond in terms of cost).


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## toddnmd (Nov 17, 2013)

I'd suggest talking to her, or her good friends, to get an idea of what she might want.

I know numerous people who have opted for non-diamonds. But it's been at least partially her choice.

Moissanite looks pretty nice, but it's not as nice as a good diamond.

Good luck!

(From someone who bought a diamond ring this summer, and has been engaged for six weeks . . .)


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## ecchef (Nov 17, 2013)

Diamonds hold their value. Just a thought.


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## EdipisReks (Nov 17, 2013)

ecchef said:


> Diamonds hold their value. Just a thought.



they actually don't, unless it's boutique or antique. In my opinion, worrying about resale value is just jinxing the marriage.


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## knyfeknerd (Nov 17, 2013)

Congrats Travis.
I think sapphires and emeralds are pretty sweet. Also some of the tourmalines and opals are purty too.


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## JohnnyChance (Nov 18, 2013)

Maybe just a chunk of a j-nat crammed into a simple setting?


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## erikz (Nov 18, 2013)

What about these: Amethyst, Grossular (Garnet), Sapphire or Ruby?


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## panda (Nov 18, 2013)

dmt shavings


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## Dusty (Nov 18, 2013)

My wife's ring's main stone is a ruby, flanked with some really tiny diamonds as highlights. Its quite elegant and understated, I really like rubies as a vey romantic stone.


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## quantumcloud509 (Nov 18, 2013)

If you guys are into antique edwardian era/ roughly late 1800s/early 1900s stuff I had an awesome lady out of Florida from pinterest craft our ring for us from a mold of an old ring she had. It was 18k and even though i used it to propose to my wife with, she loved it so much she asked i dont buy her another ring but instead just put it on her hand when we got married. I went with moissanite because for one it is indestinguashable from a diamond to the nakey eye and two i you wanna put a fatty diamond in there later on in life when you are ballin out of control feel free to do so. I believe the ring ran me $1250 or so after all was said an done. What helped me was taking her to jewelry stores and asking her what she liked, cruising pinterest and ebay and asking her what she liked etc and makin mental notes.


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## WildBoar (Nov 18, 2013)

Fossilized mammoth tooth engagement ring from Randy Haas's wife Lisa, and follow it up with mokume wedding bands from Del. Win-win  More seriously though, if not a diamond solitaire I would look into a ruby flanked with a pair of small diamonds. Probably will not save you that much $ though.


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## Burl Source (Nov 19, 2013)

I like the idea of Alexandrite.
It is really cool when you see one that has a strong color change.
1st it looks red, then it is green.


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## Mingooch (Nov 20, 2013)

whatever stone she wants is the correct answer...you are just an honored guest at the wedding.


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## Chef Niloc (Nov 21, 2013)

Well by "shiny" I'm assuming you mean "sparkly", Referring to a gym stones brilliance? Brilliance and gemstones is measured in the "refractive index", I.E. The more light a stone refracts the shinier it is or more sparkle it has.
That sad diamonds are pretty dam sparkly (2.4 index), Rutile has the highest RF# 2.99, it's a pretty stone varies in color from golden to blood red, reddish brown and black. The only other two stones "shinier" then a diamond are 
Sphalerite, but Sphalerite is super-soft stone and Sphene, Sphene is yellowish-green, green in color but it's still kind of soft as far as gems go and not used for rings that often. Just under diamond is a zircon, not a cubic zirconia, zircon is a precious gemstone that looks and sparkles like a diamond.

Rutile can be hard to find in sizes suitable for a ring but the ones I have seen are absolutely amazing looking


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## Chef Niloc (Nov 21, 2013)

Just a after thought, If she truly loves you she would want you to spend money on a nice knife for yourself:doublethumbsup:


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## Lucretia (Nov 21, 2013)

Something to keep in mind is how the ring will be worn--is it going to be worn only when going out and for special occasions, or will it be worn all the time? For an all the time ring, it's hard to beat diamond for durability. It just takes more abuse than other gemstones and keeps looking good. Colored diamonds are an option if you just don't want a white stone--and they don't have to be more expensive. Get a little brown tone in the color and the price drops dramatically. (Check out Diamonds by Lauren if you want to see some great photos of colored diamonds.) Sapphires and rubies are also fairly hard, but will damage more easily than diamonds. If I didn't want a diamond, I'd definitely go with sapphire or ruby. Beautiful colors, and tough stones. Emeralds are pretty susceptible to damage--plus getting a nice looking stone gets real pricey in a hurry. Opals are fragile--not that good for an "everyday" ring. 

Softer stones are susceptible to scratching, and over time and with a lot of wear the surface of the stone can get covered with tiny scratches and loose a lot of sparkle. If you do get one of the softer stones, using a bezel setting can help protect it from damage. 

My 30+ year old diamond engagement ring doesn't look any worse for all the abuse it's received over the years, where some other rings with soft stones that don't get worn very often have scratches and chips.


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## Eric (Nov 21, 2013)

Just a clarification. Hard does not mean durable. In fact diamonds have perfect cleavage and if struck properly will crack in half. Hardness is just the ability to resist scratching. Sapphire, garnet, beryls, zircon, spinels, tourmalines will all be very durable and make excellent ring stones . opal is soft and will scratch over time. Bezel setting is an excellent way to protect any stone, and offers a nice aesthetic alternative to prong settings. I facet gemstones and have a large selection/ experience with colored stones. Look up Tim lambertini's website. He is a talented goldsmith in Washington state. The pink spinel rings are stones I cut. Eric


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## RobinW (Nov 21, 2013)

tkern said:


> Yup, she just wants a shiny stone and a more simple ring




Yup, get a diamond!
You have no idea how many times i've walked into that trap...


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