# No mokume for the ring, she says



## echerub (Mar 3, 2012)

I've been trying to get ideas for an engagement ring lately. Design the engagement ring and the wedding bands together make it all look really cool... Of course I was considering mokume for all the bands themselves, but just have a stone (or a stone plus some flankers) set in the engagement ring. Then, one day at dinner with some friends we got on the topic of engagement rings. The moral of the story from other guys' experience was, "Make sure you get input from her on the ring in some way, or you might end up with something she won't like."

Okay. Believe it or not, that was actually a bit of a revelation for me!

So, while I was traveling with my girlfriend last month, I floated the idea of mokume rings. Her response? "No. I'd feel like I was wearing one of your knives."

Good thing I asked


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## Seth (Mar 3, 2012)

There are so many rules you have to learn and men have a disability when it comes to this. I was told by my daughter, for instance, that I was not allowed to date a women young enough to date a man who she might date. I never heard of this rule, but it's out there. I think there are some rules about unilateral decisions in a marriage. Some involve a threshold of percent of household income, some are much more enigmatic and beyond the reach of mortal men. Jewelry of any kind is the most difficult concept to master. You must take notes about what she owns and does not, what she looks at when she passes the store. You need a check list that includes such things as 'Is she a gold person, or a silver person?' The safest technique is to go into stores with her and when she says 'Isn't this nice?' wink at the sales person and they will set it aside for you. Congratulations!


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## echerub (Mar 3, 2012)

Well, the doubly-hard part here is that my girlfriend isn't a ring person to begin with. She just really doesn't wear rings. Are there any alternate approaches to rings that you've heard of? 

Girlfriends and dating I'm familiar with, but you're right, I'm starting into new territory now


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## DeepCSweede (Mar 3, 2012)

echerub said:


> Well, the doubly-hard part here is that my girlfriend isn't a ring person to begin with. She just really doesn't wear rings. Are there any alternate approaches to rings that you've heard of?
> 
> Girlfriends and dating I'm familiar with, but you're right, I'm starting into new territory now



You should thank God for that - My wife however is a ring person - when we were shopping for her ring, it took us until a trip to Chicago to get a salesperson who understood her "requirements". I would have really F*d it up if I had tried to do it on my own. I had no clue what I was getting into.


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## Deckhand (Mar 3, 2012)

Things like GIA certified,size,color,clarity,amount of flaws are useful. Many women have preference on type of cut and silver/platinum vs gold. Hey it's not going to thrill me if my wife didn't want to wear a ring. They aren't just for looks. They tell other people she is married. Hope anything I said helps. Good luck.


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## Deckhand (Mar 3, 2012)

DeepCSweede said:


> You should thank God for that - My wife however is a ring person - when we were shopping for her ring, it took us until a trip to Chicago to get a salesperson who understood her "requirements". I would have really F*d it up if I had tried to do it on my own. I had no clue what I was getting into.



I want a D flawless either the heart of eternity or the millennium
Star. You do love me right...if you love me...
:rofl2::rofl2:
Btw no harm meant. My dad became GIA certified by the guy who started GIA has the scope, specific gravity test, color diamond sets etc. To make sure he didn't get burned buying my mom's requirements. We even had a jewelry business as a side hobby to get better deals. Hong kong for diamonds, India for star sapphires, Australia and Sri Lanka for opals. It was a good hobby til the diamond market was flooded. Makes our knife hobby look like a extremely cheap habit.


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## mano (Mar 3, 2012)

When buying a an engagement ring, do as Seth recommended and pick up on her desires and what she may not like. Be honest, loving and sincere in what you purchase. Give from the heart, with only her in mind, doing your best to see the world through her eyes.











Women go for that crap like crazy.





:laugh:


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## sachem allison (Mar 3, 2012)

echerub said:


> Well, the doubly-hard part here is that my girlfriend isn't a ring person to begin with. She just really doesn't wear rings. Are there any alternate approaches to rings that you've heard of?
> 
> Girlfriends and dating I'm familiar with, but you're right, I'm starting into new territory now


you get her the right ring and I guaranty she will wear it.


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## hax9215 (Mar 3, 2012)

mano said:


> When buying a an engagement ring, do as Seth recommended and pick up on her desires and what she may not like. Be honest, loving and sincere in what you purchase. Give from the heart, with only her in mind, doing your best to see the world through her eyes.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



:rofl2:

Hax the Cook CLEAVERS RULE!!!


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## DeepCSweede (Mar 3, 2012)

@Deckhand No harm taken 

Her actual quote was - I waited X years for this ring and I am going to get what I want. Gave me some heartburn when we were shopping, but I am actually glad she got what she wanted and even more so - she was able to design the band too. Luckily, our guy in Chicago really set her straight on downsizing her "requirements" on color and clarity and got her to focus on getting a good quality stone in the perfect cut.


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## mr drinky (Mar 3, 2012)

Then offer her one in damascus instead or 52100  Test her love.

k. 

http://www.schanz-shop.de/?go=artikel&ps=3&subid=17



echerub said:


> I've been trying to get ideas for an engagement ring lately. Design the engagement ring and the wedding bands together make it all look really cool... Of course I was considering mokume for all the bands themselves, but just have a stone (or a stone plus some flankers) set in the engagement ring. Then, one day at dinner with some friends we got on the topic of engagement rings. The moral of the story from other guys' experience was, "Make sure you get input from her on the ring in some way, or you might end up with something she won't like."
> 
> Okay. Believe it or not, that was actually a bit of a revelation for me!
> 
> ...


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## Lucretia (Mar 3, 2012)

DeepCSweede said:


> ...our guy in Chicago really set her straight on downsizing her "requirements" on color and clarity and got her to focus on getting a good quality stone in the perfect cut.



+1 Cut makes the biggest difference in sparkle. Small inclusions can often be hidden by the setting or the cut, and color can actually be a pretty subjective factor. Some people really like the "warmer" tones of a diamond with a little more color.

If she's not a much of a ring wearer and you're definitely going for a ring, you might want to consider a single band rather than an engagement/wedding band combo (much more comfortable), and set the diamond low in the band rather than get something like a tiffany setting. Or get several smaller diamonds set into the band--or go with another stone entirely. My engagement ring is a tiffany setting and I don't wear it that much because it catches on things.

Have you shown her any pictures of mokume? Some of it's quite lovely and subtle. http://http://www.greenlakejewelry.com/gallery/gallery.aspx?Fil2=BND&fil3=MG

Here's one that's perfect! http://www.turgeonraine.com/detail.asp?pid=1645 I happened to try in on while we were nosing around in Seattle the other day. Most gorgeous thing I've ever seen, it fit, and everything is set nice and flush so it doesn't catch on stuff. Of course, I could pay off my mortgage and buy a second house for what it costs...:bigeek:

(Not trying to recommend either of these stores. I just know the first one has mokume, and the second one has the most expensive piece of jewelry I've ever put on.)


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## Crothcipt (Mar 3, 2012)

first link broken, get rid of the http's and your gold.


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## Lucretia (Mar 3, 2012)

Yep, noticed that & done.


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## RobinW (Mar 3, 2012)

My wife was very involved in picking the ring. Eventually she found the one she wanted and told me to get that. 
Roughly a year down the road she tells me it wasn't quite right. We went to the jewlery store and got a second ring.

I'll be damned if i can tell them apart. They look as much alike to me as my gyutos does to her.


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## echerub (Mar 3, 2012)

Lucretia said:


> +1 Cut makes the biggest difference in sparkle. Small inclusions can often be hidden by the setting or the cut, and color can actually be a pretty subjective factor. Some people really like the "warmer" tones of a diamond with a little more color. If she's not a much of a ring wearer and you're definitely going for a ring, you might want to consider a single band rather than an engagement/wedding band combo (much more comfortable), and set the diamond low in the band rather than get something like a tiffany setting.
> 
> Have you shown her any pictures of mokume? Some of it's quite lovely and subtle.



Yeah, I did show her photos of some nice mokume - and that's what prompted her to say she'd feel like she was wearing one of my knives 

One thing that makes life easier (I think) is that she's not set on having a diamond for the engagement ring. In fact, she even suggested pink sapphire! I can certainly get a better stone with the same budget that way. I'd definitely put the most emphasis on getting an excellent cut. The sparkle is key  Clarity... well, I figure as long as you can't see any obvious inclusions with your eye, that's a-ok! After all, the ring is for looks and enjoyment, not for reselling down the road 

Hadn't thought about the height of the setting before as a consideration, but that's a very very good point... I suppose that's something that one can only know from experience 

I have a particular design in mind for the combined rings, which is why I have that as a consideration. No stones on the wedding band, but actually a carved or etched design that incorporates the stone from the engagement ring. It'd play on a theme that has meaning for us.


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## echerub (Mar 3, 2012)

mr drinky said:


> 52100  Test her love.



She's not an engineer. She'd be rather unhappy with a steel ring  Besides, I'd be too tempted to take the ring onto the stones to test how well the steel was made


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## Crothcipt (Mar 3, 2012)

:goodevil::sh*thitsfans: wow love how you think.


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## Lucretia (Mar 3, 2012)

echerub said:


> She's not an engineer. She'd be rather unhappy with a steel ring



Trust me--steel rings don't fly with engineers, either.

Lucretia, BME


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## echerub (Mar 3, 2012)

Lucretia said:


> Trust me--steel rings don't fly with engineers, either.



LOL! 

A few of my engineer friends don't even like their regular engineers' rings.


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## dragonlord (Mar 4, 2012)

When I bought the ring for my wife, I went with her favorite stone as the Center piece, and then 2small diamonds to either side. IMO buying jewellery for you significant other really just means taking an interest in who they are, and what they like.

Also, if you ever plan on buying her flowers, make sure you don't just buy them when it's a special occasion or you're saying sorry, as she'll appreciate them more (and make sure you find out what colours she likes, and if you can pick out the flowers you want in the bouquet yourself)


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## echerub (Mar 5, 2012)

Thank you all for your good advice


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## Johnny.B.Good (Mar 5, 2012)

Congratulations!

My grandfather did a cool thing for my grandmother (still alive and well in her own apartment in S.F. at 101) with her wedding ring. Her wedding ring is a tiny band of diamonds (all the way around). She is tiny herself, so it looks cute on her finger. Then, every so often (maybe on big anniversaries?), he would buy her another, until she had a collection of five or so. She always wears them all together and they reach from the base of her finger to her knuckle. They look great (like a large band of diamonds even though they are five individual rings).


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## SpikeC (Mar 5, 2012)

On the occasions when a guy would buy an engagement ring without the womans input we would often sell him a center stone set in a simple solitaire "holding ring", then she would come in to work up the design to go with the stone for the permanent ring. We would then come up with a design that would take in her lifestyle, preferences, etc. I designed a lot of rings for horsewomen that would be snag proof, or nearly so.


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## quantumcloud509 (Mar 9, 2012)

echerub said:


> Well, the doubly-hard part here is that my girlfriend isn't a ring person to begin with. She just really doesn't wear rings. Are there any alternate approaches to rings that you've heard of?
> 
> Girlfriends and dating I'm familiar with, but you're right, I'm starting into new territory now



So...check out rubylane.com and etsy.com also check out moissaniteco.com thats where i ended up landing. Paying off last payment of her engagement ring tomorrow night unless andy777 tells me whats up with his no-longer-in-production Takeda...


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## Tristan (Mar 9, 2012)

echerub said:


> I've been trying to get ideas for an engagement ring lately. Design the engagement ring and the wedding bands together make it all look really cool... Of course I was considering mokume for all the bands themselves, but just have a stone (or a stone plus some flankers) set in the engagement ring. Then, one day at dinner with some friends we got on the topic of engagement rings. The moral of the story from other guys' experience was, "Make sure you get input from her on the ring in some way, or you might end up with something she won't like."
> 
> Okay. Believe it or not, that was actually a bit of a revelation for me!
> 
> ...



There is a kind forum called Pricescope, where you can get help from people who live and breathe this stuff daily. Good luck!


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## Chef Niloc (Mar 9, 2012)

My wife sad no to the mokume too, but was cool with non matching rings, so I got what I wanted (Del made ring) and she went with her great great grand mothers ring, so I lucked out with not having to buy two rings. Then I lost mine a month after the wedding, she was surprising ok with that too. That was always a worry of mine being a chef, so plane from day one was a tattoo. So that's what I got now, will take a band saw to loose it now. was all ways a worry of mine.


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## WildBoar (Mar 9, 2012)

Tristan said:


> There is a kind forum called Pricescope, where you can get help from people who live and breathe this stuff daily. Good luck!


Spent some time on Pricescope a few years ago. If nothing else, it got me steeled to fork out $$ at Whiteflash.com. First time I got married a jeweler who was a friend of the family and had a lot of estate pieces took great care of me; that ring was 1/3 the cost of the one I bought for my second wife. Of course the one for my second wife really needed to be a little bigger then the first one :sad0:


In both cases, went with a solitare. The first one was a surprise. The second time around I got some feedback first. Which was a good thing, as she always voiced a preference for a colored stone. But when it came down to it, for an engagement ring she really wanted a white diamond after all.

Whiteflash is not the cheapest game in town, but they were very, very good to deal with. And the ring was spectacular. We had them make our wedding bands as well.


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