# This cracked me up... job ad and response



## JBroida (May 28, 2017)

http://deletethisnow.com/waffle-house/

laughed my ass off

(copied and pasted from the above link)

Original Ad: Waffle House Looking For Night Shift Cook. Includes pay, free meals, and a positive working environment. 

ME:

Hi, Im a very experienced chef who is interested in the position. This sounds perfect! Much appreciated  Michael Coulier

PAUL:
Thank you for your interest, Michael. What is your passed experience?  Paul Joseph, Wafflehouse GM

ME:

Paul, Ive been a world-class chef for the last decade. My last job was at Alinea in Chicago; we were the ONLY restaurant to receive a 3-star Michelin rating, and weve had one EVERY year these ratings have ever been published!

PAUL:

Thats pretty impressive, but you sound overqualified for this job. Why did you leave?

ME:

Forbes magazine.

PAUL:

What did they do?

ME:

Its what they DIDNT do, which was give us a top Forbes Restaurant Rating for Ambience & Decor. Apparently, they had an issue with the fact we serve hollow ice cubes instead of solid, which has nothing to do with Ambience or Decor. The nerve! I have no time for dishonesty, so I left. I can tolerate anything but a LIAR.

PAUL:

What was youre salary at the restaurant?

ME:

About $140,000 a year.

PAUL:

Im not a fan of liars either. So I dont want to insult you or waste your time  this is a minimum wage night shift position, which pays $7.25 per hour.

ME:

Until I work it, then youll be begging me to take a raise!

PAUL:

Come again?

ME:

The quality of my Pecan Waffle, the personality of my smothered hashbrowns, the sheer emotion I put behind my 2-egg breakfast with sausage and biscuit is simply TO DIE FOR.

PAUL:

Im sure your fantastic in the kitchen, we just cant afford you.

ME:

Im happy to work your rate. Just give me a shot, sir.

PAUL:

Can you start tonight at 8pm?

ME:

Of course. Lets ride the gravy train!

PAUL:

Alright. Ill send a link with directions and all the info. Do you have any questions?

ME:

Yes, who will be my Sous Chef and Line Chef?

PAUL:

We dont really use those terms, but Randy will help you on the grill, and Shaniqua will be running out your trash.

ME:

I see. And I assume you have Gesshin Sharpening Stones?

PAUL: 

Ive never heard of those.

ME:

No problem, Ill bring mine. How about a Cake Tester?

PAUL:

We dont even serve cake.

ME:

You do now! The establishment must have a Victorinox Serrated 10-Inch Knife, correct?

PAUL:

We have plenty of knives.

ME: 

Acceptable. A Durand Corkscrew and Zalto Bordeaux Glassware? (For wine, obviously)

PAUL:

This is a Waffle House. There is no wine.

ME:

Its for me; I drink a ton when I cook. Please tell me my kitchen comes equipped with a Polyscience 300 Series Chamber Vacuum Sealer?

PAUL:

Again, this is Waffle House. Not even Red Lobster has that. Were not an award-winning restuarnt! Were a low-budget greasy spoon that caters to the poor and drunk

ME:

Excellent point. Have you thought about using that as your ad slogan?

PAUL:

Hell, no! Wed lose business, Cant do that!
ME:

Thats because youre a ******* LIAR.


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## Sporks (May 28, 2017)

lmao, good one


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## daveb (May 28, 2017)

Like


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## valgard (May 28, 2017)

That's amazing


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## berko (May 29, 2017)




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## panda (May 29, 2017)

Dislike, waffle house serves it's purpose. I've enjoyed a greasy meal there once or thrice during wee hours of the morning.


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## bkultra (May 29, 2017)

panda said:


> Dislike, waffle house serves it's purpose. I've enjoyed a greasy meal there once or thrice during wee hours of the morning.



Poor or drunk?


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## ecchef (May 29, 2017)

Made my day! &#128514;


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## MontezumaBoy (May 29, 2017)

Why must it be one or the other ... I strive for both! & I would add "stupid and ugly" but that might be offensive :bliss:



bkultra said:


> Poor or drunk?


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## panda (May 29, 2017)

Both poor and drunk but never ugly, sometimes stupid.


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## labor of love (May 29, 2017)

I enjoy WF ambiance and the raisin toast is amazing.


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## Chef Doom (Aug 22, 2017)

I just had a chance to read this and it was downright hilarious


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