# Marriage Deterioration



## Midsummer (Aug 27, 2020)

Just want you less experienced guys know, that it can and does happen whether you buy knives or not. The number of knives in you collection does not cause the issue, but how you prioritize them in your lives may be. Peace.


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## ian (Aug 27, 2020)

Hmm, not speaking from personal experience, are you? If so, my condolences.


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## Slim278 (Aug 27, 2020)

Went through the big *D *myself not all that long ago. A very unpleasant experience that I hope your situation does not turn into.
I wish you luck, marriage can be a wonderful thing.


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## parbaked (Aug 27, 2020)

2nd wife > 1st wife...


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## Tim Rowland (Aug 27, 2020)

hopefully not something you are currently going through.
My divorce was nasty. 
came back from a long day at work a few weeks before everything was finalized to find half my shop equipment sold/given away and only charred pieces left of over 30 board feet of exotic woods.


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## Corradobrit1 (Aug 27, 2020)

Sell me that Shiraki and save your marriage. I'll even pay for it.


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## Corradobrit1 (Aug 27, 2020)

Tim Rowland said:


> hopefully not something you are currently going through.
> My divorce was nasty.
> came back from a long day at work a few weeks before everything was finalized to find half my shop equipment sold/given away and only charred pieces left of over 30 board feet of exotic woods.


Woah, I got off lightly..... 16 years and counting happily divorced


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## Tim Rowland (Aug 27, 2020)

Corradobrit1 said:


> Woah, I got off lightly..... 16 years and counting happily divorced



Shoot that's not the half of it, there was soooo much more. 
She even crimped the brake lines on my motorcycle too.....take a guess how I found out.
Anyway enough thread jacking.

Hope everything works out for you Midsummer.


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## Corradobrit1 (Aug 27, 2020)

Tim Rowland said:


> She even crimped the brake lines on my motorcycle too.....take a guess how I found out.


Crikey. How many years did she get for attempted murder?


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## juice (Aug 27, 2020)

Corradobrit1 said:


> Crikey. How many years did she get for attempted murder?


Knowing it and proving it are different things, tho.


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## Villanelle (Aug 27, 2020)

Yeah... It doesn’t matter how long and well you think you know someone divorce can bring out a terrible/psychotic side you never saw coming.


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## juice (Aug 27, 2020)

I was just listening to an Aussie knifemaker podcast, and the guy being interviewed trekked home after four days away at a knife show to find his missus had cleaned the place out while he was gone, in a clearly premeditated action. I don't think anything was destroyed, though.


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## Villanelle (Aug 27, 2020)

juice said:


> missus had cleaned the place out while he was gone, in a clearly premeditated action.


Classic move


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## spaceconvoy (Aug 28, 2020)

I feel for you, been there done that. For me, getting too focused on my hobbies was more of a symptom than a cause of drifting apart. Not always a bad thing, but maybe a sign to check on the more important things in your life.


parbaked said:


> 2nd wife > 1st wife...



Seconded! You'll never pick the perfect gyuto on your first try, because you learn so much about your own preferences in the process. Wives are no different (friends too...)


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## tchan001 (Aug 28, 2020)

I don't talk about her expensive bags and she doesn't talk about my expensive knives.


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## captaincaed (Aug 28, 2020)

Asking for a friend


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## Carl Kotte (Aug 28, 2020)

I hope this topic is merely hypothetical, if not I’m very sorry.


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## WildBoar (Aug 28, 2020)

The reality is if being into kitchen knives helps break up a marriage it really didn't -- it was just something the other party could focus their anger/ discontent on. If it wasn't kitchen knives it would be something else.


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## MarcelNL (Aug 28, 2020)

A collegue of me, and three times divorcee once stated; you know why getting a divorce is so expensive? Because it's worth it....
A decade or so later I completely got his point, it hurts but it's worth it.

hang in, you will survive and will find out you can do without a whole bunch of things you had and be happier than before.


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## Midsummer (Aug 28, 2020)

Midsummer said:


> Just want you less experienced guys know, that it can and does happen whether you buy knives or not. The number of knives in you collection does not cause the issue, but how you prioritize them in your lives may be. Peace.




You guys are awesome in your support and I thank you!!!! I actually just wrote that cause I see it on BST all the time!

Divorce is miserable. I through it years ago. At that time I felt like all I did was sacrifice. I had no knives. All of my hard work went to providing for my family.

Fast forward to my current state of affairs, great wife and I have 70- 80 knives. My wife could not tell you the cost of any of them. I have the kind of marriage that we all had hoped to have. I count myself lucky! But my knife numbers have not ever been an issue.

Thanks!!!!




Corradobrit1 said:


> Sell me that Shiraki and save your marriage. I'll even pay for it.



if I ever sell it you will be the first to know


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## Corradobrit1 (Aug 28, 2020)

Midsummer said:


> Fast forward to my current state of affairs, great wife and *I have 70- 80 knives*. My wife could not tell you the cost of any of them. I have the kind of marriage that we all had hoped to have. I count myself lucky! But my knife numbers have not ever been an issue.
> 
> Thanks!!!!


Sounds like a keeper


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## Midsummer (Aug 28, 2020)

juice said:


> I was just listening to an Aussie knifemaker podcast, and the guy being interviewed trekked home after four days away at a knife show to find his missus had cleaned the place out while he was gone, in a clearly premeditated action. I don't think anything was destroyed, though.



A friend of mine, who was the only breadwinner, returned home after work to find his locks changed and a restraining order against him. The wife’s boyfriend in his house in the next month.


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## Carl Kotte (Aug 28, 2020)

@Midsummer -Ah, what a relief! You had me there for a couple of hours.


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## thebradleycrew (Aug 28, 2020)

To be fair to my wife, she and I regularly talk finances and hobbies. And she is reasonable overall with knives, asking me to keep 40 or fewer knives. My wife is a minimalist through and through and I am a maximalist if there is such a thing. My tendency is to invest deeply (financially, time, effort, knowledge) into the things I'm passionate about. Thus, we try and strike a balance. She knows I have 40 knives give or take at any time, so when she sees boxes coming into the house, it usually triggers a conversation about downsizing. And again, to be fair, most if not all of the time she is spot on. She holds me accountable and I appreciate that. 40 nice knives is more than enough for me, and I'm good about not getting too attached to them so I can sell them in and out as I please. All in all, my situation is great.


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## VicVox72 (Aug 28, 2020)

thebradleycrew said:


> My wife is a minimalist through and through and I am a maximalist if there is such a thing. .... 40 nice knives is more than enough for me,



You definitely sound lucky. My wife also self describes as a "stuff hating minimalist", so I am currently struggling to explain why I needed two sizes of Debas .. with a "collection" that is only double digits because she insists I count the victorinox paring knives as members! 

For all the people in this thread with like 20-80 awesome knives -- how do you store them? I have one kitchen drawer, that's it. 
But most of your knives never / rarely see use, right? Do you have a beautiful display cabinet for them? Hidden away in a shelf? Boxed up in storage? Would love to see pictures / examples of how people organize and manage these "huge" collections


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## ma_sha1 (Aug 28, 2020)

VicVox72 said:


> You definitely sound lucky. My wife also self describes as a "stuff hating minimalist", so I am currently struggling to explain why I needed two sizes of Debas .. with a "collection" that is only double digits because she insists I count the victorinox paring knives as members!
> 
> For all the people in this thread with like 20-80 awesome knives -- how do you store them? I have one kitchen drawer, that's it.
> But most of your knives never / rarely see use, right? Do you have a beautiful display cabinet for them? Hidden away in a shelf? Boxed up in storage? Would love to see pictures / examples of how people organize and manage these "huge" collections



Two knives in one box counts as one.


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## Corradobrit1 (Aug 28, 2020)

ma_sha1 said:


> Two knives in one box counts as one.


Especially if you're cutting them in half and reprofiling them


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## MarcelNL (Aug 28, 2020)

I also consider myself lucky, my GF tolerates a lot, she puts up with roasting coffee, having a huge (for in house) espresso machine (both because by now she cannot stand lesser cofee), does not complain about 2 by 2 meter open baffle speakers in the house (as by now she does appreciate the SQ), while I do not complain about her getting a pro sewing machine for her hobby, live and let live. Knives is another chapter, yet I somehow don't think it will become an issue as I do not see myself collecting anything other than expensive hobbies.
A couple of good knives should set me straight for home cooking!


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## inferno (Aug 28, 2020)

Villanelle said:


> Yeah... It doesn’t matter how long and well you think you know someone divorce can bring out a terrible/psychotic side you never saw coming.



i think the "trick" here is to sort out the eventual psychotic ones already in the selection stage.


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## Brian Weekley (Aug 28, 2020)

Been happily married for 52 years ... only took three wives to accomplish it.


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## ian (Aug 28, 2020)

Brian Weekley said:


> Been happily married for 52 years ... only took three wives to accomplish it.



How many years were you unhappily married?


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## Corradobrit1 (Aug 28, 2020)

inferno said:


> i think the "trick" here is to sort out the eventual psychotic ones already in the selection stage.


Just lookout for the 'crazy eye' ones


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## Brian Weekley (Aug 28, 2020)

Now ... that’s a perceptive question. I was always happy ... my wives probably wouldn’t say the same for themselves but then I’d generally say that marriage is more disappointing for women than men. Most guys are pretty simple when it comes to making themselves happy. Ladies have much more complicated needs. Just my uneducated opinion.


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## Lars (Aug 28, 2020)

MarcelNL said:


> 2 by 2 meter open baffle speakers in the house


That is true love.


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## Carl Kotte (Aug 28, 2020)

For all of you who want to be married to women and keep nice knives around, I’ll recommend having a Finnish wife. I’ve never had a problem. My particular wife has a tendency to treat all knives as gardening tools, screw drivers and crowbars - but I think that’s a small price to pay for my weirdness.


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## Lars (Aug 28, 2020)

Carl, any price is little compared to your wierdness..


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## Corradobrit1 (Aug 28, 2020)

MarcelNL said:


> 2 by 2 meter open baffle speakers in the house


Girlfriends tend to be more 'accommodating'


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## VicVox72 (Aug 28, 2020)

Carl Kotte said:


> For all of you who want to be married to women and keep nice knives around, I’ll recommend having a Finnish wife. I’ve never had a problem. My particular wife has a tendency to treat all knives as gardening tools, screw drivers and crowbars - but I think that’s a little price to pay for my weirdness.



Looks like I got the wrong Finn :/


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## gregfisk (Aug 28, 2020)

MarcelNL said:


> I also consider myself lucky, my GF tolerates a lot, she puts up with roasting coffee, having a huge (for in house) espresso machine (both because by now she cannot stand lesser cofee), does not complain about 2 by 2 meter open baffle speakers in the house (as by now she does appreciate the SQ), while I do not complain about her getting a pro sewing machine for her hobby, live and let live. Knives is another chapter, yet I somehow don't think it will become an issue as I do not see myself collecting anything other than expensive hobbies.
> A couple of good knives should set me straight for home cooking!


Not to derail the thread but I never asked you what brand of OB speakers you have?

Regarding divorce, I feel very fortunate indeed. I took a falling down 600 square foot garage and turned it into an audio room but did add a kitchen and bath for guests. I barely got a complaint from my wife and that’s pretty much how our relationship rolls. I have friends who have wives I wouldn’t last two weeks with, telling them what they can and can’t do or buy or who they can spend their time with. I would never last with a wife who told me what my hobbies can be or what I can spend my hard earned money on, within reason of course. In return, I don’t tell my wife what she can and can’t do and she can buy anything she likes. I’m lucky though because she hates spending money. It’s just the opposite for my dad and his wife. She has to be constantly shopping or she’s not happy. And she’s cheap so she constantly buys junk that ends up in the land fill. I’ve seen divorce first hand and it is very ugly for sure.


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## Carl Kotte (Aug 28, 2020)

VicVox72 said:


> Looks like I got the wrong Finn :/


I honestly didn’t think that was possible. Have you tried bribing her with a puukko?


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## esoo (Aug 28, 2020)

The finacee does cookbooks, I do knives. It all balances out.


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## Carl Kotte (Aug 28, 2020)

Lars said:


> Carl, any price is little compared to your wierdness..


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## ian (Aug 28, 2020)

esoo said:


> The finacee does cookbooks, I do knives. It all balances out.



Those must be very expensive cookbooks, or she must have an entire room of them...


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## Corradobrit1 (Aug 28, 2020)

ian said:


> Those must be very expensive cookbooks, or she must have an entire room of them...


He tells her the knives cost $20-30 each. Problem solved


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## esoo (Aug 28, 2020)

ian said:


> Those must be very expensive cookbooks, or she must have an entire room of them...



She has many cookbooks probably 3-4 bookshelves, always acquired on sale. Since I always buy/sell, my collection is small (under 10) and always rotating, so she doesn't mind.


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## inferno (Aug 28, 2020)

Midsummer said:


> Fast forward to my current state of affairs, great wife and I have 70- 80 knives.



i feel i could get by with 1 great knife and 70-80 wives. dont know why but it seems like a kinda optimal number somehow.


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## juice (Aug 28, 2020)

VicVox72 said:


> My wife also self describes as a "stuff hating minimalist"


Me too. Minimalism is a goal more than a reality, but we live in a 100m2 two-bedroom apartment, and the big bedroom is my wife's work-from-home office (and has been for years), so we are doing pretty well (we had a 235m2 place that had an oversized double garage before we moved here, so we have adjusted OK). My knife (usage) goal is to replace the crap knives on my mag bar with good ones (preferably with CK Swanji). That's it.



ma_sha1 said:


> Two knives in one box counts as one.


At your place? We all know that they're far more likely to end up as four (or more) knives.



VicVox72 said:


> Looks like I got the wrong Finn :/


Yeah, apparently Carl got the good one.


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## chiffonodd (Aug 28, 2020)

They way I sell this to wifey is: (1) you get a ton of home cooked meals, and (2) I don't really spend money on anything else so this is like my entertainment budget for the whole year. It's all about marketing


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## applepieforbreakfast (Aug 28, 2020)

chiffonodd said:


> They way I sell this to wifey is: (1) you get a ton of home cooked meals, and (2) I don't really spend money on anything else so this is like my entertainment budget for the whole year. It's all about marketing



That's pretty much my approach too. Works fairly well. I do try to self-limit to what'll fit in the in-drawer block.


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## juice (Aug 28, 2020)

chiffonodd said:


> They way I sell this to wifey is: (1) you get a ton of home cooked meals, and (2) I don't really spend money on anything else so this is like my entertainment budget for the whole year. It's all about marketing


Marketing AND reality, so it's like PR  I'm selling off a bunch of camera gear, so that creates an (illusory) pool of money for knife (making) funds.


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## inferno (Aug 28, 2020)

best thing is to simply just strike the last 0. typing error.


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## tchan001 (Aug 28, 2020)

juice said:


> Me too. Minimalism is a goal more than a reality, but we live in a 100m2 two-bedroom apartment, and the big bedroom is my wife's work-from-home office (and has been for years), so we are doing pretty well (we had a 235m2 place that had an oversized double garage before we moved here, so we have adjusted OK). My knife (usage) goal is to replace the crap knives on my mag bar with good ones


I thought your knife goal is to move to semi-rural, setup your own knife workshop and become the next Raquin in a few years selling "Juicy Couteaux" to sexy women wearing Juicy Couture outfits.


But unfortunately, such an achieved dream might lead to the topic of this thread.


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## Kippington (Aug 28, 2020)

inferno said:


> i think the "trick" here is to sort out the eventual psychotic ones already in the selection stage.


Reminds me of this classic video:


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## juice (Aug 28, 2020)

tchan001 said:


> I thought your knife goal is to move to semi-rural, setup your own knife workshop and become the next Raquin in a few years selling "Juicy Couteaux" to sexy women wearing Juicy Couture outfits.


Ah, yes. Well done you. You have indeed spotted the exact reason I tagged that as my "knife (usage) goal." You have, quite specifically, described my "knife (making) goal."  



tchan001 said:


> But unfortunately, such an achieved dream might lead to the topic of this thread.


Nah, my wife of a quarter of a century is well aware of the main reason I want a shed 



Kippington said:


> Reminds me of this classic video:


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## MarcelNL (Aug 29, 2020)

gregfisk said:


> Not to derail the thread but I never asked you what brand of OB speakers you have?


It's a DIY built, made after early 50-ies Klangfilm design using a Breitstrahlgruppe in a huge baffle, using Tesla 13" full range speakers (a soviet era ripoff copy of the legendary KL405 speakers KLangfilm designed for movie theatres) completed with a (d'appolito positioned) modded Tesla Tweeter that sounds a lot like the legendary (unobtanium) WE597 tweeter of the 30-ies. 
In the previous house I used the souterrain as office space and listening room and had the breitstrahlgruppen installed in a cut out section of the wall , effectively using the whole (solid) wall as baffle and the room behind it to kill the other phase of the sound waves, killer setup but in this place the neighbours did not agree to a cutout in the wall ;-)


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## MarcelNL (Aug 29, 2020)

esoo said:


> She has many cookbooks probably 3-4 bookshelves, always acquired on sale. Since I always buy/sell, my collection is small (under 10) and always rotating, so she doesn't mind.


Oops that is a hobby we share, my GF and I own a good collection of cookbooks, some highlights Fuchsia Dunlops books for Sichuan, from India by Mahadevan (high end Indian food), Indonesian, Thai, well we're all over the place, and some on technical stuff like food chemistry, cutting techniques, fermenting, the flavor bible etc.
We tend to rotate cookbooks until we find THE one for a region, by know we know what to look for in a cookbook, what works for us so we can cherry pick the cookbook store pretty good.


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## tchan001 (Aug 29, 2020)

Please do share your list of cookbooks which are THE one for each region. We'd love to hear more about it.


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## MarcelNL (Aug 29, 2020)

I'll start a thread, I don't think cookbooks have any link to marriage usually...;-)

I will start it in the cookbook subforum, if anywhere it ought to be there IMO, let;s see if the mods agree


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## Keith Sinclair (Sep 1, 2020)

Kippington said:


> Reminds me of this classic video:




That's classic. I'm older & wiser I think  . When younger and more active was attracted to the naughty fun in bed type but learned it came with a price. Abused girls can be a battle zone. Anger & crazy can be a revenge mix. Of coarse it's not all one way you get what you are attracted to.

Now days have a good one we know each other well. Women are wired different then men. It's not worth being right just a point of view. If she doesn't want to hear it don't say it. And pay attention at least part of the time let them feel good and appreciated.


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## boomchakabowwow (Sep 3, 2020)

Marriage is work. Daily.

I hope it pays well.


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## Tim Rowland (Sep 3, 2020)

Kippington said:


> Reminds me of this classic video:




This graph is 1000% accurate........I unfortunately rolled the dice thinking I could cheat the system. If you read my earlier reply in this thread you know I lost that gamble.

I give you example A, you be the judge of where on the scale she goes.


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## lemeneid (Sep 3, 2020)

Kippington said:


> Reminds me of this classic video:



All the girls I’ve dated up till now are 10 hot and 10 crazy.

This includes my current GF. Nothing particularly wrong with her. She doesn’t mind my knife hobby seeing as I got more expensive hobbies. But she regularly chugs $500 wine like it were grape juice. She's actually pretty lovely now, but I am concerned I might one day find myself with a Denka in my back or my TurboS down a cliff


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## LostHighway (Sep 3, 2020)

IME a reasonable combination of sanity and intelligence is a far rarer commodity than "hotness", that probably can be said of both genders.


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## applepieforbreakfast (Sep 3, 2020)

Words of wisdom. NSFW

Also definitely applies to crazy


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## tomsch (Sep 4, 2020)

I'm on marriage #3. The first lasted 17 years but we likely were married to young so stuff changes. The second one was flat out crazy. The third (and final) is the winner. The deal we have is pretty simple. My wife is retired but I deposit money from each of my checks into an account just for her. That way she can buy whatever she wants without permission. That works out perfectly since I get to do the same thing


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## Corradobrit1 (Sep 4, 2020)

Kippington said:


> Reminds me of this classic video:



And I thought Unicorns only applied to 'special' knives. Good to know its relevance can be extended.

Was this a TED presentation?


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## lemeneid (Sep 6, 2020)

Corradobrit1 said:


> And I thought Unicorns only applied to 'special' knives. Good to know its relevance can be extended.
> 
> Was this a TED presentation?


So what’s the knife equivalent to 2 Crazy and 10 Hot?


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## Colin (Sep 7, 2020)

The perfect TF Denka:
You might be burned once or twice, but once you find the one, life is great!


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## MontezumaBoy (Sep 7, 2020)

lemeneid said:


> So what’s the knife equivalent to 2 Crazy and 10 Hot?



I would say any stainless damascus from Mr. Devin Thomas ... IMO ... I believe his stainless has very low 'crazy' properties but I can't speak to his carbon which is very likely > 2 crazy ...


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## shinyunggyun (Jan 2, 2021)

I dated HAP 40, ZDP 189, AS, B1, and dumped all of them for W2


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