# I gave up.



## spoiledbroth (Mar 21, 2017)

Today I put all of my knives and stones and books up for sale. 

I gave up on cooking. I got tired of working for minimum wage. I lost a series of jobs (the last one two days prior to xmas) for reasons I guess I don't understand. Maybe I am less in touch with reality than I had thought. Or maybe just unlucky. I still don't have a job. I don't know if I will be homeless or not at this point.

I don't have any other skills really and never was interested in much else but food and cooking- work stuff. Cooking professionally was a part of my identity. 

To be honest I really don't care to think about food, much less fine dining, much less think about or even overhear about "the industry." I haven't cooked anything from scratch in more than 8 weeks, at home for myself. 

Anyway. I haven't come looking for sympathy or anything I just thought it would be fair let you guys know I won't be around anymore. Sorry to darken your day. 

Cheers. Enjoy yourselves. 

SpoiledBroth


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## brianh (Mar 21, 2017)

I was really hoping today was April Fools day. So sorry to hear this.


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## tsuriru (Mar 21, 2017)

Sorry to hear this. Not sure how old you are or what your situation is - but sure do hope you get back on your feet soon.


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## KimBronnum (Mar 21, 2017)

Wow, I´m sorry to hear this. I wish you the very best of luck and I hope your life takes a turn for the better soon. 
- Kim


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## guari (Mar 21, 2017)

Hope you find what you are looking for. May the light shine upon your new path.


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## Mucho Bocho (Mar 21, 2017)

Spoiled, What is said about "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy."

Remember, life is a journey and with a good attitude, some hope and continued pursuit, you can do anything. Its true. After never having picked up an instrument, taught myself (through videos) to play claw hammer banjo. I gave myself carpel tunnel syndrome in my left index finger, doing it, but I learned to play be damed. Find something else to do. If your that depressed, you might be clinically depressed, so get help, talk to someone you trust.

Just remember "this too will soon pass" and tomorrow will be better than today.

best wishes, just know that there are people out there that care.

dennis


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## toddnmd (Mar 21, 2017)

Sorry to hear you're going through tough times, hope you find a path that puts you on the right track


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## mise_en_place (Mar 21, 2017)

Sorry to hear this, man. Kitchens will definitely kick your dick in.


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## WildBoar (Mar 21, 2017)

Sorry to hear this as well. Please consider keeping a couple of knives and stones, as you will find some passion for cooking again at home once you get your new career path set. And please check in here at KKF every now and then -- we're about more then just knives and stones.


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## khashy (Mar 21, 2017)

I can also only express sadness for the tough situation you are finding yourself in and hope that you find your feet in very short order.

I would echo WildBoar's comments about this community being more than about knives and stones. This has certainly been my experience here at KKF.


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## chinacats (Mar 21, 2017)

SB, good luck in whatever you choose...and agree with others that there's no reason not to visit and check in from time to time.


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## jessf (Mar 21, 2017)

Don't sell your stuff. You'll feel worse later if you do. At best hand it all to a friend for safe keeping. Restaurant work is a crap shoot no matter where you are so don't feel defeated.


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## Casaluz (Mar 21, 2017)

SB, I wish ypu find something that ignites your passion again and I echo the comments of others to welcome you to drop by from time to time


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## guari (Mar 21, 2017)

jessf said:


> Don't sell your stuff. You'll feel worse later if you do. At best hand it all to a friend for safe keeping. Restaurant work is a crap shoot no matter where you are so don't feel defeated.



This, for sure


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## _PixelNinja (Mar 21, 2017)

Indeed  don't sell your gear; at least not yet. Good luck with whatever you chose to do in the end.


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## Jovidah (Mar 21, 2017)

Good luck, whatever the path you choose. I second the recommendation to not sell it all off just yet. There's no reason you couldn't use all that at home. Most of us do. Would be a bit of a waste to just sell it all off.


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## pleue (Mar 21, 2017)

Where are you located? I'd imagine there might be folks willing to chat with you here locally about what your next steps may be. Keep your head up, I hope you can find your way out of the emotional rut you seem to be in and get some clarity. Part of that may be getting some help either from folks here or from other sources. Best of luck, pulling for you


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## pleue (Mar 21, 2017)

Skills from a kitchen are transferable, you just have to know how to pitch them and translate them for folks who are unfamiliar in the industry. If you have the work ethic necessary to succeed in a kitchen then you have the work ethic necessary to start in a number of fields.


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## soigne_west (Mar 21, 2017)

I can relate to this, I recently went from a banquet management position that I loved to working the craziest brunch hot line ever.

I think I am don't too, at least the though has crossed my mind.


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## Nemo (Mar 21, 2017)

SB, it sounds as though you are in a really difficult situation. I hope that it improves for you soon.


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## chiffonodd (Mar 21, 2017)

SB, I am sorry for your struggles, brother. For what it's worth, I guarantee you that you are not alone in the career burn out that you feel, or the strange mix of self-doubt and nihilism that comes with it. I'd hazard a guess that many on these pages -- whether in "the industry" or otherwise -- have wrestled with those demons at one time or another. 

Although any of us can offer a sympathetic ear, and many of us might have had analogous experiences in other fields, my hope is that someone who's been exactly in your shoes before finds the time to PM you and talk this out a bit. I know people here have come back from hard times in "the industry," and to the extent that your mind is completely made up about trying your hand at other things, I'm sure still others here have successfully made the transition from professional cooking to other fields. You _do_ have transferable skills, as others have mentioned, so don't forget that.

Again, I'm sorry man. Whether you keep your gear in the meantime is up to you. It might be fun to put a knife and stone aside for another day. But if you need to make a clean break for now, who could judge?

Keep your head up. Seek help if you need it. There's no shame in it.


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## boomchakabowwow (Mar 21, 2017)

oh damn!!

dont sell everything. sell most of it, but keep something. you gotta eat, and cook right? i know some pro cooks and those guys are literally working their asses off. and it sure as hell aint for the money..


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## alterwisser (Mar 21, 2017)

boomchakabowwow said:


> oh damn!!
> 
> dont sell everything. sell most of it, but keep something. you gotta eat, and cook right? i know some pro cooks and those guys are literally working their asses off. and it sure as hell aint for the money..



+1

And if you decide to sell all or most of it: talk to us here.... I'm sure there's more than one (I'd be one) who'd buy knives and stones from you (to help you in your current situation) and give you a buyback guarantee/option in case you're changing your mind!

Let me know. It's a sincere offer!


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## JBroida (Mar 21, 2017)

For what it's worth, I went through a similar thing when I stopped looking in before I started this business If you ever want to talk about it, you know where to find me.


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## aboynamedsuita (Mar 21, 2017)

M,

I think we're the only KKF members here in Winnipeg. I'm really sorry to hear about what's happened, i thought I had noticed you weren't around as much recently, but then again I haven't been around as often either due to a number of issues some of which are known on these forums. 

I'd strongly recommend trying to get a job as soon as possible, as the longer you wait the harder it will become not to mention more financial hardships. There's been a number of local places hiring I've seen on Instagram, the burrito place on corydon is a recent one that comes to mind, and this is just one of many ways places may "advertise" positions. You may even want to consider a different field temporarily just about any job is better than no job. 

If you need to sell your gear for financial reasons, I understand. But don't sell it just because I haven't worked in a kitchen since c.2004 and I still use my stuff at home. It will be useful to you one day, even if you just keep the basics like a gyuto, petty and stone. I did get a bit of a tax refund (though nothing like I used to get as a student) and may be able to help out by "buying" a couple things and holding onto them and could "sell" back once things turnaround.

Lastly, never give up on your passion, even if it is something you can only do as a hobby rather than an occupation.

I still have your cell from 2015 but don't know if the # changed, but will send you a txt and PM regardless.

TJ


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## rami_m (Mar 22, 2017)

boomchakabowwow said:


> oh damn!!
> 
> dont sell everything. sell most of it, but keep something. you gotta eat, and cook right? i know some pro cooks and those guys are literally working their asses off. and it sure as hell aint for the money..



+2


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## Salty dog (Mar 22, 2017)

Really don't know what to say about this. It could be bad luck, bad work habits, bad skills or bad local market. The fact that you were being paid minimum and were let go without explanation tells me something about the place you were working. My thought is to not give up and find a job to support yourself and then look for the right cooking job on your terms. There are plenty of douche bag owners and Chefs in this biz and sometimes you have to sift through the dirt to find gold.

I wish you luck. Keep your favorites (knives, books and stones) and try to stay positive.


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## preizzo (Mar 22, 2017)

Sorry man to hear that! Live it s more then just cooking so for sure you will find your path! Close one door means you will open another one!! 
Keep strong and don't give up!


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## Benuser (Mar 22, 2017)

Obviously in this mood it's no good idea to close any door or take any irreversible decision.


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## LifeByA1000Cuts (Mar 22, 2017)

I could understand if you sold your current gear and got a new, minimal set (for home or new professional use) from some of the money. Distilling oneself.

Naive question from an amateur : Why are dudes like you not running their own food business, be it as an owner-restaurateur, or somewhere up the supply chain? To those of us who are indeed amateurs, the biggest barrier always seems to be having the professional training/experience - which you without a doubt have.


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## WildBoar (Mar 22, 2017)

LifeByA1000Cuts said:


> Naive question from an amateur : Why are dudes like you not running their own food business, be it as an owner-restaurateur, or somewhere up the supply chain? To those of us who are indeed amateurs, the biggest barrier always seems to be having the professional training/experience - which you without a doubt have.


Seems like a good topic for a new thread. I don't know about in Germany, but here in major cities in the US you will be hard-pressed to open up a place for less then a few hundred thousand dollars, and banks are not keen to lend to restaurant ventures due to the high rate of failure. So you basically need to find investors who will fund you.

If you have little $ and no investors you will wind up with a very small place (lunch counter, diner,etc.) in an area of fairly low population. Which may be good or bad, depending on your preference.


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## TheCaptain (Mar 22, 2017)

No...the biggest barrier is access to capital. Same for almost any business. Especially.tough in the restaurant business with it's high failure rate.


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## Keith Sinclair (Mar 22, 2017)

I have known a couple guys who lost or quit a job and took way to long to get back to work. It can be depressing. I'm with those that say get back in the work force anything to get an income flow. We are social animals sometimes just being around people at work can lift your spirits. Sitting around stewing in your own juices action is the best cure.


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## Benuser (Mar 22, 2017)

Stay active.


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## milkbaby (Mar 25, 2017)

Sorry to read this Sb, good luck to you whatever you decide.


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## rami_m (Mar 26, 2017)

Can someone please contact the dude, I would but I have no real contact info. Just want to make sure he is ok.


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## Eric (Mar 26, 2017)

SB: I feel your pain. You are not alone. Do not give up. Seek help and stay active. If your not working volunteer, stay engaged. Avoid alcohol and drugs. Please know that things will improve, give it time, stay engaged, reach out to friends and family. Ask for help, it's ok. We all go through this! Don't sell tour gear if you do not have too, just put um away for now. I'm thinking about you and wishing you well. Eric


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## aboynamedsuita (Mar 26, 2017)

rami_m said:


> Can someone please contact the dude, I would but I have no real contact info. Just want to make sure he is ok.



I'm in the same city I sent a PM and text message to his number I had from a year or so ago on the 21st.


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## inzite (Mar 26, 2017)

:S one of the first peeps i have pmed here :/ please check pm and as all has said already, Stay Positive!


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## add (Mar 26, 2017)

aboynamedsuita said:


> I'm in the same city I sent a PM and text message to his number I had from a year or so ago on the 21st.



Can you share that city here or perhaps in a pm?

Would love to help in some way.

Best wishes Broth!


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## valgard (Mar 27, 2017)

add said:


> Can you share that city here or perhaps in a pm?
> 
> Would love to help in some way.
> 
> Best wishes Broth!


They are in Winnipeg (since Tanner has it under his avatar I don't think he minds that I say it).


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## shownomarci (Apr 14, 2017)

spoiledbroth said:


> Today I put all of my knives and stones and books up for sale.
> 
> I gave up on cooking. I got tired of working for minimum wage. I lost a series of jobs (the last one two days prior to xmas) for reasons I guess I don't understand. Maybe I am less in touch with reality than I had thought. Or maybe just unlucky. I still don't have a job. I don't know if I will be homeless or not at this point.
> 
> ...



One and a half years ago i was at a breaking point as well.
Left my latest permanent kitchen job. 
I was really pissed off. Had enough. Wanted to leave the whole f'in catering industry. 
2 months later i was back. Through an agency. The appreciation you get, when you do a good job gives your confidence back and makes you feel alive again. 
And the more places you're working at through the agency the more you learn / experience, the more job offers you get, etc.
Don't ever f'in give up on something you love.


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## MontezumaBoy (Apr 29, 2017)

Hi Spoiledbroth - just figured I would bring this thread back up to the top of the list and to say HELLO! 

Hoping that you stop in from time to time to check out KKF and regardless of any direct activity here that you see that there are folks here who are hoping you are moving forward in whatever direction you find and that I personally hope this short reply to the thread finds you well. 

Tom


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## spoiledbroth (Jun 2, 2017)

Hey guys, thanks for the messages and kind words.

I apologize if I caused any undue worry. It was kind of a dark time for me.

Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in... I am back at the Japanese place in a twist of pure fate. 

Again, my apologies.


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## khashy (Jun 2, 2017)

Fantastic news man. 

So happy to hear of the good news.

I hope you didn't let go of too many of the knives you loved


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## WildBoar (Jun 2, 2017)

Good luck with it! Hopefully it will be a more positive experience this time around. Think about it -- you get to play with knives and fire all the time; some of us would get arrested for doing that


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## Doug (Jun 2, 2017)

Welcome back. Glad to hear you're ok. :thumbsup:


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## bkultra (Jun 2, 2017)

Welcome back, happy to hear everything worked out in the end.


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## milkbaby (Jun 2, 2017)

Good to hear, best wishes to ya!


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## DaveInMesa (Jun 2, 2017)

Awesome! Glad you're doing better.


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## KimBronnum (Jun 2, 2017)

So good to hear SB. Welcome back - maybe in more than one way &#128512;&#128077;


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## Lars (Jun 2, 2017)

So happy - inspiring stuff..

Lars


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## Matus (Jun 2, 2017)

spoiledbroth, I am so happy to hear that! You really made us worry.


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## Marek07 (Jun 2, 2017)

*))*


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## LifeByA1000Cuts (Jun 2, 2017)

Pentecost is a good time for good news of that kind


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## Nemo (Jun 2, 2017)

Great to hear that things have turned around for you SB


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## Benuser (Jun 2, 2017)

Excellent news.


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## chinacats (Jun 2, 2017)

Cool news that makes my day!


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## aboynamedsuita (Jun 2, 2017)

Glad to hear things are back on track M, I'm more or less in the same part of the city so will have to try and stop by sometime.


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## kevpenbanc (Jun 3, 2017)

Good to have you back mate.
Hope things are working out for you.


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## natto (Jun 3, 2017)

good news, welcome back


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## valgard (Jun 3, 2017)

Good to hear from you, it was worrisome not hearing anything for a while.


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## GLE1952 (Jun 6, 2017)

Way to go SB
Stay strong!


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## MontezumaBoy (Jun 6, 2017)

Nice to see you back on the forum! Best of luck!


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## toddnmd (Jun 6, 2017)

Happy for the update, even happier the news is positive, hope things go better for you this time around


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## Pensacola Tiger (Jun 6, 2017)

Good to have you back!


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## BoomVang (Jun 6, 2017)

Welcome back!

You stared this post around the time I joined so I thought it was me :wink:


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